Stefanie Hensley

Hi friends, my name is Stefanie Hensley.

I get the honor to serve in our after-abortion ministry called Redeemed.

I am a member here at CityBridge and have been with the Watermark Family since 2015. I am a wife to Dalton and mom to 3 boys, Dash, Jett, and Rush, with our fourth boy joining us in March. 

On Christmas break my senior year, I met a guy on the varsity baseball team that I thought I would spend my life with. I fell in love with this boy and found so much comfort in being with him. He filled this empty space in my heart that I knew was there from not having my family present in my life. Coming from a divorced home with an absent father and a mom who had her own struggles, I found myself always reaching for something consistent. Or anyone that I could tangibly count on, and he was always there for me.

Over the months of dating, it was revealed to me that my boyfriend was actually a sophomore and not a junior, as he said. By that time I was in too deep to care about the lie he told when we first met. I turned 18 on June 1st and graduated high school the next week. After graduating, I found out I was pregnant with my boyfriend's baby. Although I had absolutely no clue on how to raise a baby, I was so excited to start a family of my own. A family that I would never give up on.

I was so happy and prepared to do the hard work of being a teenage mom.

However, that excitement quickly became my worst nightmare when my boyfriend completely turned his back on me and allowed his mom to use their wealth as a tool to threaten me with statutory rape charges. Her terms were I had to abort my baby so her son could continue to have his life and future.

If I did not agree, she would pursue legal action and I would give birth in jail for raping her son.

I felt shattered. Betrayed. I felt hopeless and alone, and I felt like I was fighting a losing battle. 

Even my mom encouraged me to have an abortion. Someone who I thought would always support me, didn't even think twice about it. There was truly nobody on my side. Nobody to listen to what I wanted or how I felt. 

I was far from The Lord during this time, but still, something inside me knew having an abortion wasn't the right thing to do. I wanted my baby, even if I had to do it alone. I wanted to choose life. Threats and intimidation killed my willingness to fight and my voice to speak up. With no pre-abortion counseling or any time to make a plan of action, I ended my baby's life by abortion to make everyone around me happy, even though it killed me inside. I even tried leaving the clinic moments before the procedure began, only to be held down by nurses and told, "It was too late."

For the next 2 years I stayed with my boyfriend. I wanted & needed our relationship to work so badly, especially after what I had done for him. When he began to physically abuse me, I knew I had to leave him because my life quite literally depended on it. After our breakup I spiraled out of control. I began experimenting with drugs, abused alcohol, became an adult entertainer, dated drug dealers, and even found myself being an escort for a very wealthy married man. I completely lost myself. I was drowning in shame and guilt from my abortion that I was willing to do just about anything to numb my pain. 

It was during this time of rebellion that I met my husband, Dalton, in 2010 through a group of mutual friends in the party scene.

We became the best of friends. He knew everything about me and he still saw me as a gift and not damaged goods like my mind would often tell me.

We were engaged in May of 2014. Almost a year later, in April 2015, I was invited to Watermark Dallas for the Easter service. I knew of Jesus, but honestly, I was so upset that He allowed me to go through so much hurt & pain alone in my life that I didn't know what a relationship with him even looked like. During worship at the Easter service, I was flooded with tears. I had no business being in this place after what I had done, how I had lived, and the chaos my life was, yet I felt like this was exactly where I needed to be.

I felt the Holy Spirit that day. I felt His overwhelming presence and, for the first time, knew I needed to start to deal & heal with my abortion in order to grow in my faith with the Lord. I needed to forgive myself because I was hearing from the pastor on stage that God had already forgiven me.  

Psalm 103:12 says,

“As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.”

I just needed to believe and accept that. We married in September of 2015 and the thought of starting our own family paralyzed me. What if something happens to our baby because of the choices I made when I was a teenager? What if I'm not able to have babies with this amazing man because I cowardly ended the life of my first child? So many lies filled my head, but I began to recognize that this was the enemy coming to destroy what God was creating in my life.

I was ready to come out of hiding and experience God's love and care for me. I was ready to let go of this secret my heart carried, the unworthiness I felt and the guilt and shame that covered all of me.

I was ready to take the enemy head-on with God by my side.

With the Holy Spirit nudging my heart, I found myself signing up for Watermarks Abortion Recovery Ministry, Someone Cares. 

For the first time, I was met with so much compassion, understanding, and hope for the future.

It was in this ministry that I found healing and forgiveness and felt assured that my baby was in Heaven with The Lord.

It was in this ministry that I accepted God's free gift of grace and understood that Jesus paid for my sin by dying on the cross for me! 

Throughout my time of healing, I attended ReGen and Redeemed, an abortion ministry at CityBridge. I needed to continue processing my abortion experience because I had a difficult time forgiving those who stole my voice.

It was during the work & my time in ReGen, with the blessing of my husband, that I was able to reach out to my ex, own my part of our sin, offer and extend complete forgiveness for the choices we made as teens that carried into our adult lives.

My second time going through Redeemed, the Lord was so gracious in showing me the gift of perspective. For the first time ever, I was able to see things from different points of view. I was now a mother to two boys and a wife to someone I deeply loved. And while I still do not agree with the course of action our moms took in the decision of my abortion, I could empathize with them. My ex had lost his father to Cancer months before our pregnancy reveal. So, I could only imagine the pain & loss his mom was feeling.

Come to find out, my mom had her own experiences in her life where she truly believed she was doing the right thing for me. I began to release the anger & resentment in my heart to create room to feel empathy and compassion towards the ones who wronged me. 

Colossians 3:13 says,

“Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”

I was in no position to withhold forgiveness because the Lord has forgiven so much of me.

Trusting in Jesus and putting my faith in Him has been a catalyst in my life. I now get the opportunity to serve in Redeemed, where I walk alongside women who have experienced the internal ache and sadness that comes with choosing abortion. I have seen women bring their abortion experiences out of the dark past and into His holy light. I've seen God tear down walls women have built to protect themselves from judgment from our society and peers. I've seen women released from the bondage of their sin and freedom found in the bloodshed on the cross for us. I've seen and experienced the freedom in forgiving those around us who contributed to our choice of abortion.

Letting go of the roots of bitterness and stepping into the joy of life that the Lord intends for us to live.

He already knew what would happen in my life, and he would allow it bc He knew it would lead me back to Him. 

Jesus saved my life. He pulled me from the life I was living and showed me there is a better way! I found my hope in Him!

It is only by God's grace and strength from The Lord that I am on this stage, sharing the deepest parts of my past sins with you. While my hands may be shaking and my heart pounding, I cannot remain silent in the fact that God has transformed my life. To God be the glory.

I pray that if abortion is a part of your story you would find the courage and willingness to experience the forgiveness that The Lord has to offer.

You're worthy of it.

According to Luke 15, Jesus leaves the ninety-nine to search for the one.

You are the one.

I am the one.

And He rejoices when the one is found. 

Thank you for letting me share.